Concerned by the challenges and dangers that today’s social media platforms and digital technologies pose to good parenting in child upbringing, Kemi Olokode-Ayelabola has recommended boundaries to put around technology to check the disturbing menace.
Kemi, a behavioral, developmental and child/young persons care professional made this disclosure in a statement she made available to the media on Friday.
She noted that technology has great impacts on many families, especially those that are still raising children who are in their formative years, adding that it is crucial to develop healthy habits to check the negative impact on the family and the larger society.
“Every reasonable and responsible parent should of course be concerned about building an upright family with good moral standards and discipline, but the advent of technology is making the process difficult and this has imposed on parents the need to be dutiful in fulfilling their responsibilities.
“It is crucial to admonish ourselves on the impact of the positive and negative effects of the digital revolution and what needed to be done as parents with regards to training the children to fulfill obligations enjoined by God.
“Everybody is involved in the digital age and is affected one way or the other. It is becoming uneasy for parents to train their children with good morals because of distractions within the digital space and this ugly trend must be nipped in the bud if we truly want healthy and decent future for our wards. Parents have to work 10 times more to be able to build an upright God-fearing child,” she admonished.
Kemi further attributed some of the causes of learning difficulties among children to the harmful effect of technology and phones, urging parents and guardians to guard their wards towards proper learning and inculcate in them religious values and good social etiquette. She added that the foundation matters most in child’s upbringing and urged parents to be passionately strict though with moderation and as well be prayerful while raising their wards.
“There are parents out there who did their best to raise their children in the best way, but unfortunately they got it wrong. We must ensure we guide and monitor our children on the use of social media because who they follow on social media determines where they belong. As parents try as much as possible to guide and monitor your children when they assess social media and always set boundaries for them,” she charged.
The Ireland based political and social commentator also emphasized that parents must as well accord some respect to their children and create a more acceptable and balanced relationship with their children so that they won’t be seen as bullies but as parents who truly want the best for them.
“Parents in many ways must learn to accord some respect to their children and this is very important, as this will help to build the mindset that their parents are not bullies but as good parents who truly love them and whose primary aim is to prepare a great and excellent future for them.
“Parents could start by being more polite in conversations with their children. Being mindful of the kinds of things we say when we talk to them is highly important and often forms the foundation for proper communication with their peers and colleagues. Also, parents and guardians must learn to apologise for any offences committed against their children. A simple “Sorry” could radically alter their outlook on forgiveness by teaching them that no person is above mistakes.
“Parents should also share with their children, their life experiences, successes and failures and how they did not allow their failures to define them, rather became a stepping stones for their quests to turn those failures into successes. This strengthens the bond and allows their children to ask questions, learn from them, be more open to share their concerns and also gives them confidence that failing is not a stigma but an opportunity for them to improve on the particular cause to achieve success.
“Another crucial way of showing your children respect is by avoiding comparing them to their peers. Many parents tend to make the mistake of overshadowing their children’s achievements by weighing them against those of their age mates. This has a way of lowering their esteem and taking the spotlight off the uniqueness of our children.
“Parents must learn to validate all of their child’s exploits without necessarily measuring them up against their colleagues. This would counter any inferiority complex and offer them a massive confidence boost to continue to strive towards becoming better in every sphere and this will also increase and sustain parent-child bonding and naturally make them give less attention to social media or other defiant behaviors.”